DOING THE DANCE

This Blog is Dedicated to Shelly Cause She Let's Me Rub Her Belly

DOING THE DANCE: The Art of Getting Chose

I have a lot of discussion with people in person and on the web about the state of relationships. I have become a defacto "relationships expert" because of the number of years I have been counseling co-workers, friends and internet pen pals on this most delicate subject.

So here's my general take on things.

I am "old school" in my philosophy on getting chose. I described the culture I was immersed in when I wrote "To Be Or Not To Be". Back in the day, players were successful in part because they "got chose" because a woman was attracted by their peacock personae. Getting chose has always been my preferred way of hooking up with a woman. When a woman steps to me or expresses some obvious interest in me and I respond. in a positive way, the rest is academic.

I hear so many stories, mostly from women, complaining about a) bad choices they've made that end up in failed relationships; or b) the myth about the lack of availability of a suitable mate. I know many, many "good men" that are faced with insurmountable obstacles that a woman poses during the courtship/mating ritual. The complaints of the women and men are about the same issue: hooking up and having an adult style relationship i.e. sexually charged relationship that is gratifying to the libido.

I believe the disconnect occurs because women and men tend to seek out partners that they are attracted to for all the wrong reasons. True physical attraction seems to be the last consideration that most people make when they are choosing a partner. That is not to say that people don't like attractive partners. All one needs to do is watch television to see the Watoo Wasuri * hooking up. There is a decided emphasis on physical beauty in current western culture. Physical beauty unfortunately does not always make you sexy or desirable. And more importantly, physical beauty does not make you sexual.

We ignore our primal instincts over intellectual considerations. Perhaps we have "unlearned" these things and given in to superfluous modern considerations.

The Proof Is In The Pudding
Have you ever wondered why you see plain or even butt ugly women with a gaggle of beautiful children? Most might say it's because they are more accessible that finer women. Not true. Many men have the foolish tendency to believe that an ugly woman is a better partner due to urban myths like they complain less or they are needier than finer women. Neither is true. Plain and fugly women have more issues related to self esteem than finer women. They will put a man through much more than a more self assured woman, in an effort to prove that a man truly cares for them. Plain/fugly women require more reassurance and are far more demanding than their finer counterparts. In plain/fugly women's defense, they may possess "hidden talent"; i.e. certain "proclivities" that cause them to be especially adept in matters sexual. When you're number 2, you try harder.

I have Duke Ellington's disease. I find myself hopelessly attracted to "odd" looking women. Attracted, though I may be, I have had little success in securing one. Odd looking women are very suspicious of me. They simple don't believe that I might be hopelessly attracted to them. Being perceived as better looking than some of the women I've attempted to date has worked against me, all my adult life. Plain or odd looking women tend not to take my advances seriously. These factors, in part, are some of the reasons that I wait to "get chose". If I am lucky, the woman doing the choosing is also sexually exciting to me.

Quest For Fire
I've met some women that "make my cells get hard!". When they get in "my space", I become physically aroused. Eastern folklore says there is a 3 foot sphere or "bubble" that surrounds each person. If you know what you are doing, anyone that ventures inside your sphere is suseptible to your influence. That's why most people stand at least an arms lenght away from you when dealing with you, least they be unduly influenced, by you!

When I meet someone that I'm attracted to, I know it the moment we get close. When our lips meet, there is fire, our bodies tremble with excitement. The first sex is a little awkward but always good.

I have been successful a handful of times at securing that cellularly exciting woman as a lover. I have found that I have to feign disinterest toward the women I am most attracted to! That feeling of cellular excitement does not occur in isolation. If you are feeling it, the other person is feeling it too. The synergy is so great, it almost takes you over. Most people don't like feeling out of control. Loss of control is a scary place. We will ride a roller coaster or go to a horror film because we volunteer ourselves into those situations but we don't like being taken by surprise in the real world.

Encountering another physical entity and becoming overwhelmed by the synergy that you and that person create is more than most people can tolerate on a sustained basis.

As we age, the notion of passion becomes vague. Often what we excuse as passion is a very controlled ritual that we engage the unsuspecting in. When I was younger, I thought aging would diminish the level of excitement I experienced. The opposite has actually occurred. At this point, in life, I find myself much more in touch with my sexual personae. It makes some people uncomfortable.

Standing At The Precipice

After a few glasses of wine, my friend, The Dragon Lady has repeatedly threatened to whip my naked ass and make me eat her panties! After the 3rd or 4th time she made the threat, I consented to the torture. As the words fell from my lips, she made an "about face" and reneged. I saw her eyes change from serpentine to deerintheheadlights in a nanosecond! The idea of having an equal partner in her passion play-that would not be securely handcuffed to a bed and garroted-had zero appeal to her. Fear of loss of control, in matters sexual, may be the primary reason many individuals never achieve orgasimus maximus. Had I feigned fear, Dragon Lady's panties would have been ringing wet, by the time she removed them to stuff them in my mouth.

Why We Seldom Choose Wisely
Most adults like to feel like they are in charge of their lives. Allowing your senses to be overwhelmed invokes primal fear in people. I like it when the synergy between me and a woman drives us a little crazy. It does not always make for a secure relationship, in fact, it increases the volatility of the situation. Personally, I'd rather be insecure and loving every minute of it than to be "in control" of a given situation and dread every calculated encounter.

Master My Johnson
The key to true sexual gratification is release of inhibition and confidence in your partner(s). Please think about this before you're too old to do anything about it.

*"Watoo Wasuri" is Beautiful People in Swahili