This Is Dedicated To Ms. Donyelle
THE XY CONSPIRACY
Men and women have 26 chromosomes. We are one of the most distinct animals on the planet. Men and
women are separated by one chromosome. Women are XX and men are XY. I've often wondered if one genetic variable is the
reason we act so much alike and yet are so dissimilar. I also wonder how much of what we do is learned behavior.
As we move away from agricultural/hunting-gathering societies, western culture seems to making some
dramatic swings in the roles of men and women.
Merging Of The Sexes
Men
are acting more like women and women are assuming more and more roles and behaviors that were traditionally the domain of
men. Anyone that reads my articles know that I ultimately blame the media for most of our social ills. Those that control
the media carelessly and callously promote ideas that fly in the face of cultural convention.
A few hundred years ago, the printing press was the culprit. Later on, the advent of film, wireless
communication and television spread ideas that had deleterious effects on cultural standards. Many people died and/or
have been murdered due to the proliferation of media propelled ideas in fashion, music, literature, pop culture and now the
internet.
Media As Social Director
I
watch a lot of television. Like it or not, I find myself being influenced by what I see and hear. I emulate and incorporate
too much of what I see, hear or read about into my "lifestyle". I think of myself as a strong willed individual, not
easily influenced. On a sliding scale of 1-10-with 1 being a desire to please everybody- I see myself as an 8. We unfortunately
live in a society full of 5's-eager to please and susceptible to novel ideas.
Those in the know understand that a very perverse subculture runs most of government, control monetary
systems and rules the media. These miscreants were marginal at best, as children, growing up in a social order that
was determined before we began standing upright. These men-who would have been ostracized in more so called primitive
societies-have risen to power in order to exact an agenda intertwined with revenge and self loathing. Their every interaction
becomes the highest form of perversion with a sugar coating that makes it easier to consume and incorporate into normative
standards.
If Six Were Nine
Twenty
years ago, it was unheard of to say words like "ass", "bullshit", "nigger" or "bitch" on television. Today, we hear
these words on prime time television. We use such words routinely in our conversations. People run red lights,
get an attitude with you if you are impatient with them while they are waiting on you. We talk on cell phones, while
working a cash register, or while stocking shelves with one hand in the supermarket. We wear ball caps and jeans to
church. We don't go to church. And it's perfectly all right to have a same sexed partner, according to today's social
mores.
I have railed about how girly many of the men I encounter behave. I am now becoming alarmed
at the frequency by which I encounter this behavior.
I frequent a restaurant near my home. One of the waiters, a man my age, always speaks to me.
I usually sit at the bar, so we have limited interactions. At a point, I noticed that when I encountered him, he would
smile and seem to almost blush, when he spoke to me. When the restaurant was not busy he would come to the back, near
the bar area and stand along the wall. I "feel" eyes on me. Almost every time I sit at the bar, he stands against the
wall and stares at me!
I encountered this man, in the neighborhood, one day. As usual, I spoke and kept on stepping.
The next time I saw him, at the restaurant, he rolled his eyes, as I approached him! On my way to the bar, it occurred
to me that his behavior was like that of a scorned woman. He had been coming with the "come on" and I totally missed
it!
I have a friend on the down low that I ask questions about gay issues, from time to time. He
told me, a while ago, that when other men are interested in you they stare at you. Apparently, if you stare back, that
means you are interested in them. When I learned this little tidbit, I started doing what women do: acting oblivious
to the attention. That worked ten years ago. Gay men are far more passive aggressive- in an innocuous way-nowadays.
Unfortunately, they behave like excited high school girls but have no sense of propriety.
The tip off in this particular situation was that Garcon no longer speaks to me but continues to stand
against the wall and stare at me, in the back of the restaurant. His girly affect is what alerted me to what was going
on. I caught him stealing a look at me last evening.
I must admit that, in a broad sense, appeal is good for one’s ego. I have been in the
world long enough to appreciate that attraction is attraction. I’ll take it even if it come from someone to which I
have no desire to reciprocate.
Last year, I was accused, by a close male friend, as being “sexually ambivalent“!
The fool told me this while we were at my apartment drinking heavily. I thought it was funny the first time he said
it. We had a good laugh about it and I did not pass up the opportunity to ridicule him about his judgement. A
few weeks later, we were at my crib, drinking heavily, he broached the subject again! The second time I was deeply offended.
The comments were accompanied by suggestive nuances that one gives when flirting. I wanted to strike him in the head
with a heavy object but I knew that I could not properly dispose of the body, in the middle of the afternoon. Fortunately
for us both, it has not come up again. Since last year, I have limited his alcohol consumption at my crib. I also
developed some insight as to why people get murdered while drinking heavily.
Brave New World
The
down side of attraction is: it is rarely mutual with the object of one's desires. The last person you wish to engage
yourself with is usually the person in your face. At one point, in my early development, I harbored a great deal of
guilt for not being able to have a good feeling about someone with whom I shared no attraction. No longer. I discovered
at some point that strong feelings tend to be mutual. And trying to manufacture feelings for someone that you are not
feeling is perilous territory.
It's an even greater stretch of the imagination to embrace the idea of having an emotional/sexual
attraction to another man or what a co-worker has characterized as bumpin mustaches! I am at a loss intellectually and
objectively to try and rationalize such a state of mind that would allow for such a circumstance. When my long time
friend brought up the subject of my sexual ambivalence, I was disgusted. This is a long time friend that I once believed
to be a man’s man. In my youth, he was a role model. The notion that he has harbored these feelings, for some
time, is very disconcerting. I have historically had some emotional difficulty with being told by women that I have
sex appeal. Being told by a man is that I possess sex appeal or the inference that I could be the cause of another male's
sexual excitement is incomprehensible.
As a practical matter, I am not concerned about these issues on a personal level. I won’t
succumb to the euphoria of seduction by ugly old men with misplaced egos or too much to drink. And I am not homophobic.
Some of my closes friends are fags. I am, however perplexed at social trends that suggest to men that it's ok to emulate
women in mating rituals. We have come along way from hunting/gathering societies, which were the foundations for our
mating rituals. The way we hook up nowadays seem to be the advent of world wide communication. It makes one wonder
if there actually were Amazon cultures, in the past and if we are approaching the next one.
If these things are trends for the future, I'd love to meet a woman that will take charge of my cantankerous
ass. If you're out there, send me an email. I recently discovered that I am amenable to a little role reversal,
so the logical next step is.............
